Once I had to go to a coaching course because I was unemployed.
The coach asked me, “What skill makes YOU special?”
I said, “I can wait.” She was impressed but asked immediatly the next question.
“And what do you want to learn or improve as we ALL are all the time learning and improving? What do you want to learn here?”
So I said, “I am trying to wait even longer.”
“Okay...”, she said, “Well, Great that you want to learn SOMETHING!”
“But what is your goal in this as we all need to have a goal?”
I didn´t know and I started to feel uncomfortable in the situation.
But then I realized and found an answer, “I want to be able to wait without waiting.”
“Well...”, she said, “But where do you want to get with this?”
So I said, “My head is round so my thoughts can change direction.”
“Oookay.”, she said and intrigued with a next question, “But what are you waiting for?”
So I said, “It´s neither too early nor too late. I want to wander in emptiness lost in time without time to overcome rationality.”
“WELL.”, she said. “That´s good to keep open minded. But what dou think makes you special? Why should you succeed?”
So I said, “My greatness is to be awareof my delusions of grandeur.”
“Okay. But what do you really want?”, she asked.
“Don´t be so shy”, she said. “What do YOU really want for yourself?”
I had to think about it. Then I said, “There is no such thing as my SELF.”
Then she asked if I ever went to psychotherapy.
So I told her, “Once I went to a psychotherapist. He asked me to tell him everything. So I told him everything. Now he is doing my act.”
Then she asked me if I am suffering from depression.
So I said, “I´m not depressed. - I´m just fleeing happiness so it doesn´t escape.”
Then she asked kind of angry but also smiling, “What´s the fucking point in your life?”
“Interesting question”, I said.
“Well, the point of life is death, Freud said.”
“Ts! You know...”, she said, “you are such a beautiful guy. Why are you so negative?”
So I said, “My beauty is not the way I look.”
“What is your problem?”, she asked.
“Well”, I said, “I have no problems with my problems. Kafka had problems too.”
Then she said, “NOW I KNOW IT. You are an ARTIST!”
So I said, “I don´t feel as if I were an artist but that´s probably the best way to be one.”
Then she got enthusiastic. “Did you study art?”
I said, “Yes.” “GREAT!”, she said. “What did you learn?”
I said, “I tried the whole time to understand Foucault.”
I, “Well I wonder if he did?”
She, “Interesting!” “Foucault!”
I, “Foucault is the only one who never had to read Foucault.”
She, “Which kind of art are you doing?”
I, “Well I use to sit on the toilet and let loose and if something comes, it´s fine. If not something else comes.”
“You can call me Walter. Walter Ego. “Ich” bin ein anderer”
“You have to find your way”, she said. “Just keep on.”
I said, “I am already on my way.”
She, “But I have the feeling you are running away, aren´t you?”
“You are not fighting for it.”
So I said, “I don´t want to fight anymore. I am looking for a way out.”
“Why are you looking for a way out? The door is open you just have to step in”, she said.
“There are so many I don´t know which one should be mine”, I said.
“Why are you so pessimistic?”
“I am not pessimist. I just want to keep distance.”
“You have to believe me”, she said. “You are such a special person. You have to believe in your originality and use this.”
“Oh no”, I said.
“I am not an original.
I am a palimpsest.
I am cheating.
I like to copy.
I am all the cheap copies you can´t find.
There is nothing original in me.
I am a medium.
I am many.
I don´t want to say how many.
I let it go.
I prefer to dance with the devil
before putting myself on a superior level.
I am Walter
I am Giogrio.
I am Angela.
I am Francis.
I am Pamela.
I am the one you don´t perceive
I am not the one you would believe
I am not innocent
I am not president
I am not Kukident
and I am not for rent
I am Barbie,
I am Kent
I am Rosi,
I am Brand.
I am all and nothing
but don´t worry
I am fine
with my decline.
Text beispiel aus Ich bin ein anderer, Walter Ego